How Do We Grow?

Yesterday we had a pretty big snow, oh, four to five inches, I guess. When I went out to sweep off the driveway I was impeded by all of the leaves lying under that snow. They were still so pretty in their glorious colors that I was wanting to leave them there as long as possible. Now the poor things are buried under the snow.

This reminded me that when I was a little girl I felt sorry for the leaves lying out there in the cold and so I filled some cardboard boxes with as many as I could fit in and dragged them into our basement, so they would be warm for the winter. This was another one of my solo projects as a child. My parents indulged me by leaving the boxes there.

We did not, as a family, go outdoor adventuring. My brothers did, as Boy Scouts, but my father thought Missouri had nothing to offer in terms of natural beauty and so we did not take advantage of the woods and rivers right here. I married a man who liked camping and loved bicycling and we camped a little on our honeymoon. But I did not love either of those things and mostly just tolerated them.

Things have changed. I was thinking this morning about how this happened. Dogs. Living a freer life, the life of a working artist/piano teacher. Years ago I discovered the yellow maple groves at Gans Creek Wilderness Area with my dog Didimus. That fall, since I had mornings free, I took Did with me every day to observe the progress of those yellow maples. A falling in love happened, again, with those leaves.

Then later, along came Miles, who was young and loved every dog he met. He needed to run and I learned of Grindstone Nature Area, where dogs can run off leash. We went every day, meeting all the dogs and exploring every nook and cranny. Then came Rufus. The three of us, every day for a long time, adventuring and discovering. Somehow I found Annie Dillard’s astonishing Pilgrim at Tinker Creek and the gorgeous poetry of Mary Oliver. Wildflowers. Spider webs. Heart-shaped rocks. I read Robin Walls Kimmerer’s Gathering Moss, bought a loupe and went out looking deeply at mosses.

Now I am a person who loves camping and hiking, canoeing, walking, bicycling, discovering, and being outdoors. We grow and change, sometimes in circles, don’t we? I’m glad I grew back into that little girl who loved leaves and sticks and streams. I’m happy to be someone who loves rivers, bluffs, rocky paths and wildflowers and all of the things. What an embarrassment of riches.

I’m sorry for grumbling about camping (I’m sure I must have) on our honeymoon. I wish my father had seen what I see here in humble little Missouri. It’s not Yosemite or the Grand Canyon but it’s beautiful.

“Blessed are they who see beautiful things in humble places where other people see nothing.” - Camille Pissarro

"Study nature, love nature, stay close to nature. It will never fail you". - Frank Lloyd Wright

“If you truly love nature, you will find beauty everywhere.” - Laura Ingalls Wilder

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Thanks for listening,
Kay

P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the "merry thoughts."