Tiny Basketball
. . . for the joy of it
Yesterday I went with a couple of friends to an elementary school basketball game of 5- and 6-year-old boys. On the hunt for joy, as always, I scored a 10 out of 10. Friends that I love, little kids, and sports. Unbeatable combo.
Each team had two coaches but the ref doubled as coach/teacher, too. She gave a little talk to the spectators, mostly parents, about sportsmanship and civility. How I wish she was in charge of our country!
First she reminded everyone that there would be kids who’d played more than others, who would be good dribblers and shooters. Others might be brand new to basketball. She said she’d be rewarding both good play and effort. In addition, she would reward good sportsmanship. Love. Sports need love, just like we do.
Then she enumerated a few simple rules for the spectators:
Cheer and applaud enthusiastically for your child as well as others.
No yelling at the ref or her teenaged line judge.
Don’t complain about the officials to your kids on the way home.
Don’t criticize your child or other kids on the way home.
Winning will not be the point of this game.
She stopped play occasionally if things got out of hand, e.g. kids in a tangle or on the floor; or to remind the boys that they were each to guard only one player from the other team. They wore colored wristbands to remind themselves that GREEN GUARDS GREEN, for example, rather than having three kids ganging up on one.
She paused the game to give an award. The boy she recognized was a very good dribbler and had stolen the ball, taken it down court and made winning shots again and again. Very impressive! But that’s not all. He had also passed the ball to his teammates and if they fumbled it or let it go out of bounds, he never made a face or a negative comment. He was kind as well as talented. Yay!
One short, enjoyable game. Twelve little boys in big T-shirts, running around getting red in the face and trying their hardest. A throng of adults smiling and cheering throughout. No winner was declared, but you could easily say that the boys and the coaches and all of us were winners. A good time was had by all. Very impressive and loads of fun to watch.
So what have we learned? Fun and joy do not need to include winning or getting more than others or doing better than others. Winning can mean being good to others. It can mean laughing and having fun and getting out of breath with effort. It can mean watching your child or a bunch of kids you don’t even know doing those things. Fun and pride can be had by wearing a team T-shirt and running hard and bouncing a big ball and throwing it up in the air and trying your hardest at something, even if you never manage to get the ball through the hoop. Or even close to the hoop. Fun and pride can also be had by those who watch an adorable bunch of little kids doing all of those things.
And really, fun and joy can also be found by us dreary old adults doing things that we’re not particularly good at, as long as we make a real effort, without self-judgment, and apply those same rules to ourselves. In other words, cheer and applaud yourself, don’t yell at yourself, don’t complain about yourself to others, don’t criticize yourself (even silently), and remind yourself that winning is not the point of whatever game or endeavor you participate in.
Joy by the handful. It’s out there. Go get some.
“Just play. Have fun. Enjoy the game.” – Michael Jordan
“The measure of who we are is how we react if something doesn’t go our way.” - Usain Bolt
“Kids don’t remember what you try to teach them. They remember what you are.” - Jim Henson
“Play is the shortest route between children and their creative calling.” - Vince Gowmon
Check out my Ampersand Cards website for greeting cards with my original writing and art, plus small paintings and collages.
If you enjoy these letters, feel free to share. And if someone shared this one with you, click the button below to subscribe for free. You’ll find all my poems here. Finally, if you’d like to keep up with my 365 Day Index Card art practice, click here.
Thanks for listening,
Kay
P.S. MerryThoughts is the name of my first book, out of print at the moment. The word is a British one, referring both to a wishbone and to the ritual of breaking the wishbone with the intention of either having a wish granted or being the one who marries first, thus the “merry thoughts.”